Sports

Funny jokes about School!!!!!!!!! LOL :) :) Plus a Few Naughty ones!!!!

The Old Professor was administering a test in College, when he noticed that one of his students, who was quite obviously pregnant, kept rubbing her side.

Before the student left, he asked her, "Are you okay? I noticed you were holding onto your side." 

"Oh, I'm fine," the student answered. "It's just that my baby was pushing his foot up and down my ribs, and it hurt a little." 

The Old Professor, feeling genuinely relieved, said, "Well, that's good." 

"Yeah," commented the girl, "It's strange, too. He normally sleeps during your class."


A young woman went to an evening class to improve her sexual capabilities. When she gets there, she sees an apple, an orange and a pear hanging on strings from the ceiling, and a piece of chalk and a black-board. "What is all this for?" she asked. 

The instructor tells her to stand between the hanging fruit, and she does. "Now," said the instructor, "swing your hips to the left and touch the apple, now swing your hips to the right and touch the pear, then swing your hips forward and touch the orange." 

The young woman starts to rotate her hips, and soon gets a good rhythm going. "This is great," she said enthusiastically "but what is the chalk for?" 

"When you've got the hang of the fruit," said the instructor, "I want you to stick the chalk up your ass and write 'Mississippi' on the black-board twenty times."


When Felix, the regional sales manager for a machine tools company, got home from the office, his wife couldn't help noticing that his tie was loose, his fly unzipped, his hair disheveled, he smelled of perfume, and his collar was covered with lipstick. "Rough day at the office" she commented. 

"Not too bad," he said nonchalantly. "Had to break in a new sales associate, but I think she'll work out." 

"Does she take shorthand" asked his wife. " 

No," blurted Felix, "but she gives it."


There was once a boy named Johnny Go Deeper. He attended a school where his father was the principal, his mother was the vice principal and his sister was an administrator. 

He stayed after class when the bell rang to speak with his teacher, Mrs. Johnson. 

He began the conversation by saying. "Mrs. Johnson, please take off your shirt". 

Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm not taking my shirt off". 

So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you. 

So Mrs. Johnson removed her shirt. 

Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take off your skirt". 

Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm not taking my skirt off". 

So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you". 

Mrs. Johnson then removed her skirt. 

Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take off your bra and panties". 

Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm not taking my bra and panties off". 

So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you". 

Mrs. Johnson then removed her bra and panties. 

Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please lay on the table". 

Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I will not lay on the table". 

So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you". 

Mrs. Johnson lays on the table. 

So Johnny jumped on top of her and proceeded to try to penetrate her. 

All of a sudden his mother walks in and yells "JOHNNY GO DEEPER" 

So Johnny replies "I'm trying, I'm trying".

What a Picture

All I have to say is Wow!!!!

This is a Very Beautiful picture from Australia